Certainly Uncertain

     Basically I'm a control freak. 

I know this.

My friends know this.

My family knows this.

My coworkers know this.

Probably even strangers know this after dealing with me for more than five minutes.

It's just part of who I am.

And bless my family, friends and coworkers' hearts for putting up with it.

Really though, it's almost a problem sometimes, I really really hate the loss of control.

Unfortunately in this life we can't control everything...doesn't that drive you nuts? It certainly drives me crazy.

Basically all of our futures are uncertain, we never know exactly how it will play out, and while at times this is really nice at other times I would really, really love to be able to control how my future plays out, especially when I feel like I have screwed up.

The only thing I can be certain about is that life is uncertain....which drives the control freak in me insane!

Luuuuuuckily there are some things that I am absolutely certain about

• My family will always love me unconditionally no matter what
• I have some of the best friends in the entire world and we have been through so much together. Love you guys!
• A few guardian angels most assuredly have my back
• I made the right decision in going to the University of Utah last fall
• I love my Utes
• I am, always have been, and always will be a Ravens fan
• Diet Coke can basically fix anything
• There has not yet been a day bad enough that a little diet coke, chocolate and Breakfast at Tiffany's hasn't been able to fix
• Hugs are simply the best things in the world
• My fellow Grubstars are the best people you will ever meet....ever
• Cowboy Grub sugar cookies...well if you haven't tried them yet...you need to...they're just that good
• You are never too old to believe in fairytales
• Music speaks when words fail
• Football brings out my most competitive self {don't you be trashing my Ravens or my Utes....You'll get it ;) }
• My favorite people in the world tend to be those who can make me laugh when I don't even want to smile.
• Football Sundays and Monday Night Football make me happy inside

Even though our futures are uncertain that is no excuse to live life looking in the review mirror. We must embrace the uncertainty of it all and run head first with our eyes closed into the future...and if a control freak like me can commit to trying to do this better I'm sure you guys can do it too!

Much love my friends!

P.S.....since it's Sunday I have to add: GO RAVENS!

Still Believe the Best is Yet to Come

     Ever hear of a little band called Red? Well I heard them for the first time like a year ago when I saw this amazing routine done to one of their songs. Wish I could say that I immediately fell in love with them...because I didn't...but they did grow on me. And now I really appreciate a lot of their songs and respect them as a band {which is a huge compliment coming from me because I don't respect a whole lot of artists out there...I mean I like a lot of them but it takes a lot for me to respect them.} 
     Anywhoosers the reason I bring them up is they have a song on their most recent album "Until We Have Faces" called  "Best is Yet to Come." And, at the risk of sounding so cliche and so cheesy that it will make you want to throw up, it really spoke to me. {too bad that does sound really cheesy and kind of makes me a little sick to my stomach but there just isn't any other way to put it} Unfortunately I don't know what the composers of the song's original intent was, but I did take my own interpretation from it.
     Every year at this time {right before a new school year starts} I get a little nervous. Like I don't want to move on because I'm afraid that if I keep growing up the best moments of my life will be behind me, which is also the reason that I may or may not hold on to things a little longer than I should. But then I heard this song, I thought to myself "Holy crap! Red is reading my mind...freaky." And it helped me to grasp the idea that the best is yet to come. There are so many things that I have yet to experience that most definitely the best is yet to come.

Best is Yet to Come

Afraid it won't come 'round again
Afraid to move on
Wishing I could go back when
Everything was easier and meaningful to me

Wanting all we left behind
Like it's the answer
An hour glass we can't rewind
Holding back the life that I've denied for so long

Can I find my way to you?
And After all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
Cause now the past can be outrun
And I know you are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come

A photograph's still in your hands
Afraid to let it go
The minutes rain like grains of sand
And time is just a war that's stealing dreams from within
So come and take them back again

And After all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
Cause now the past can be outrun
And I know you are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come

I won't turn around
Let it all slip away
I'm never backing down
Cause tomorrow's a new day
And everything can change

And After all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
Cause now the past can be outrun
And I know you are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come

I still believe the best is yet to come
The best is yet to come
I still believe the best is yet to come 

     So like I said before...I don't know the composer's original intent for the meaning of this song but that was just my interpretation of it, what I came away with. I like to believe that the sign of a truly fantastic song is its ability to speak to many people but not necessarily have them all walking away with the same interpretation of its meaning.

I still believe the best is yet to come....

Thank you Red for this.

Wait....what?!?!?!

      Oh hey school starts on Monday....wait....WHAT???

     Really though....didn't I just barely hand in my last paper like yesterday??? At least that's how it feels to me....in some respects I feel like I am still waiting for my summer to begin and now it's ending? Now that just isn't fair. But if I really think about it Summer 2011 has been very good to me. I have gone on many a crazy awesome adventure with my wonderful, crazy, awesome friends. This summer was definitely one of the best summers to date.
    It's a sign of a good summer when it feels like it has gone by altogether too quickly. There are so many things that I still want to do but I guess I have to save those awesome things for next summer; or there is always holiday breaks right? haha. On the other hand though I have done so many awesome things this summer that made amazing memories so I am totally and completely satisfied with the adventure that was Summer 2011. If I really truly sit down and think about this past summer I come away smiling and that is what I aim for and what I call a good summer. I was able to play with my best friends basically everyday as well as have the opportunity to meet and make new friends who I love. Granted all this fun was interrupted with work but that wasn't even that big of a deal because I do love my job and my coworkers so very much that it isn't too much of a chore to work.
     I am totally going to take this opportunity to share some of my most favorite pictures from this summer though...because they bring a smile to my face...and if you don't like then...well...go start your own blog then haha.

Gage's birthday at classic skating! So much fun!

Thor adventure at midnight

One of the many, many reasons we are best friends

The photo that began the photobomb chain of Summer 2011

Special car adventures. Also photobomb.

Our very first MC face!

Just creepin in an empty theatre before Green Lantern

Stuff on screen went "Boom"

Proof that we can take a cute picture every once in awhile

We love weddings! But really one of the best adventures of the whole entire summer!

First late night Molca run, with our special fweind ;) We love AJ lots

Hating on the Biebs

Justin Bieber with a girlfriend? Nope....Definite marketing fail

Adventures with my girls!

Favorite :)

Another MC face....basically it's one of our favorite poses ever!

Look out....here comes the smolder

Yeah we are this cute in real life too...don't be too jealous of us

P.H.O.T.O.B.O.M.B.

Fat Boys for our best friend. Brilliant idea if you ask us

Boot picture! You have to wear your boots when you go to Cowboys and Aliens...it's a must!

          I just want to thank my wonderful and amazing friends for helping to make this one of the best summers ever. I am sad to see it end but I am super excited for the next stage of our lives to begin. If this summer is any indication at all, if we stick together it'll be an adventure. Love you all!! And away we go!

And the World Spins Madly On...

     Ever have one of those weeks, you know where every itty bitty insignificant thing totally and completely stresses you out? Those weeks where you just want to curl up into a ball in a corner somewhere and not come out for a reeeeeeeally long time? Those weeks where everything frustrates you for no reason at all? Yeah those weeks suck so badly. And I am truly sorry for any of you that have had a week like the one I just had.

     It's not that it was a hard week or anything, it was just one of those weeks where your mental state just isn't prepared to do anything harder than sleep. So when something harder than that activity comes up, as they inevitably will, that's how life is after all,those things make you feel uber stressed and just icky.

     There's just been so much drama lately and while I was watching it play out in front of me the song World Spins Madly On by the Weepies kept playing over and over again in my head. Because no matter how dramatic life gets the world keeps spinning, life keeps moving on and there's no stopping it. I just think everyone needs to take a step back and take a deep breath. Especially me. I just need to breathe and let myself be.

Thankfully I have wonderful coworkers, many of which I am proud to call my friends and wonderful friends that I don't have the pleasure of working with that are very understanding of me when the stress is just too much for me to handle and I snap at them for no reason. They are the reason that I am able to get through weeks like the one that I just had. Their understanding and caring and their willingness to lend a listening ear when I needed to whine and complain about my life {that isn't really awful at all} I love them and am so grateful to them. Thanks you guys!! You do more good than you know and I love you for it!

     We have this one chance at mortality...this one jaunt on Earth to prove ourselves...let's make the best of it. 

...And the world spins madly on... 

Woke up and wished that I was dead

With an aching in my head 

I lay motionless in bed

I thought of you and where you'd gone

and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do 

Like make the world brand new

And take the time for you

I just got lost and slept right through the dawn 

And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by 

I always say goodbye

I watch the stars from my window sill 

The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead 

With an aching in my head 

I lay motionless in bed

The night is here and the day is gone

And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone 

And the world spins madly on.

Sometimes we want to freeze a moment...but, just like scenes on the highway, it rushes by as the world spins madly on

So Blessed

Best friends!

     The other day I was talking to a good friend of mine about life and how different it would have been had I chosen to go to Utah State University last fall. I could not believe how different my life would be. There would be so many people that have made a huge impact on me this past year that I might not have met. There are others that I have grown close to that I probably would have never even begun friendships with. So many adventures that I would have missed out on and so many experiences I wouldn't have had. I'm sure that I would have had awesome and crazy adventures as an Aggie but it was still completely weird thinking about how many people and adventures and experiences would be missing from my life had I chosen to go away to school.

Carli. Love her. Nuff said.

Best friend since Kindergarten.

     This chat also helped me to realize just how extraordinarily blessed I am. It's almost as if I have an embarrassment of riches in the blessings department. I was thinking about everything that happened in this last year and the person that I am now compared to the person that I was a year ago and I am just so grateful for all of it. This past year at school I really think that I have discovered who I am, and yes I do realize how cheesy that sounds but its the truth, and what I truly want from life. I feel as if I have a clear path in front of me and I know what I want to do with my life {for the most part at least, I am still open for changes no matter how drastic they may be}. I'll be honest with all of you, last year at this time I felt lost, completely and hopelessly lost. I didn't know what school to go to, what I wanted to study, whether or not I wanted to minor in anything and whether or not I even wanted to go to school in the fall. But luckily I finally made the decisions that brought me to where I am today, and I am so grateful that I did. I have an extraordinary passion for my chosen major {just ask any of my close friends and they'll tell you that I ooze psych major sometimes.... I just can't help it!} I have loved almost all of my classes so far and I have made awesome friends! I feel great about my choice of school and I'm so glad that I chose to go to school last Fall in the first place.

Halloween at the
Grub

     I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, whether that reason is obvious or not. I believe that certain people come into our lives at specific times for very specific reasons. And that is so totally true, at least in my life it is. I have been seriously blessed with an amazing group of friends and seriously awesome co-workers. I absolutely love the place that I am in my life and I love the people that came into and stayed in my life. There have been a lot who have walked in and walked right back out, and while they all taught me valuable things and helped to make me who I am right now, the fact remains that they are no longer in my life and there are some that I really miss. Those that have stayed in my life have taught me valuable things and continue to teach me daily, and I am so grateful to them.

My Theatre people. Oh how I miss them

Love her!

Love and miss this!

     Everyday I am amazed at the goodness of my friends. I wish they could know all the good that they do. Most of the time it is just by their example that their goodness shows through. Just in the way that they treat their peers, their families, and even strangers. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat a complete stranger, usually someone that can do absolutely nothing for them, and I am so proud to say that most of my close friends treat these people very well. I am amazed at their abilities to make friends quickly with people that were previously strangers to them and to create a very comfortable environment around them, I hope to one day be able to do this myself. There is so much that they teach me just by their examples. I am very lucky to have the people in my life that I do. They remind me every day that there is good in this world, that there are still wonderful people around and that one person can make a huge difference in the world. I thank God every day for these amazing people that He has sent to be my friends and I hope that I am half the friend to them that they are to me. They mean the world to me and I am unbelievably grateful to them. Like I've said about a billion times already in this post I am so unbelievably blessed.

Princess Stairs with Anne!

Yep....

I love you all so very much, and don't want you to ever forget that you are incredible individuals that deserve all the best in the world! Don't ever be afraid to be amazing because that's what you already are naturally.

DONE, DONE, and DONE!!

     Officially my summer has now begun! I turned in my last paper today and there are no finals in sight!! I am now a sophomore in college!!!!!!!! So excited! But I am even more excited to sit back, relax, and enjoy my summer.
     I am so glad that I decided against doing summer semester. I was really burned out on school these last couple of weeks. I know for sure that I just wouldn't have tried as hard in summer and then my GPA would have suffered and no one wants that now do they?
      Still cannot get over that I am no longer a Freshman...it feels so weird, I swear that I am not old enough to be a sophomore yet. This growing up thing is a really surreal experience I gotta say. But there is nothing you can do to stop it so might as well lean back and enjoy the ride. Although there are some times when I really want to stay a little kid (granted those times come when I have to pay taxes or pay for gas stuff like that) but then I realize that growing up kind of kicks butt. It's really liberating when you really think about it. The best thing about this growing- up- being- a- college- kid- thing is you can be as pretentious as you want and people just expect it of you because you are, after all, a college student. It's fantastic (not saying that I am pretentious all the time but I will be honest here, sometimes I say some pretty pretentious things).
     On a side note I have quite possibly fallen in love with Blake Shelton...well at least his music. And normally I don't listen to a whole lot of country music, in fact I really dislike most of it (i.e. Taylor Swift...eeeewww) however there is something that I hear in Blake Shelton's music that I love...who knows what it is, it's an anomaly even to me. Just a fun fact for the day. Also I have fallen back in love with Maroon 5. I mean I have always loved them but I think I got sick of their music for a little bit there and stopped listening to them, but after watching a couple episodes of The Voice on NBC I have fallen back in love with Adam Levine (He's just so ridiculously funny!) and thus my love for Maroon 5 was rekindled. P.S. watch The Voice...it's fun :)
     Well I should probably wrap up this rather random post of mine. Until next time my friends. Loves!