I Promise I'm Worth It

Sometimes it feels as if Adele just knows my life, and understands exactly what I need to hear in a song.
Her song "One and Only" is gradually becoming my theme song for this point in my life.

"One and Only"

You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day.

Lose my self in time

Just thinking of your face.

God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go

You're the only one that I want.

I don't know why I'm scared,

I've been here before

Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all.

You'll never know if you never try,

To forgive your past and simply be mine.

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only.

Promise I'm worth it, to hold in your arms.

So come on and give me a chance

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile until the end starts.

If I've been on your mind,

You hang on every word I say.

Lose yourself in time,

At the mention of my name.

Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?

And have you tell me which ever road I choose, you'll go?

I don't know why I'm scared,

'Cause I've been here before

Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all.

You'll never know if you never try

To forgive your past and simply be mine.

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only.

I promise I'm worth it, mmm, to hold in your arms.

So come on and give me a chance

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile, until the end starts.

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart.

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart.

Nobody's perfect

Trust me I've learned it

Nobody's perfect

(Repeat 3x's)

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only.

I promise I'm worth it, to hold in your arms.

So come on and give me a chance

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile, until the end starts.

Basically my anthem for life right now. Favorite part (as in the part that I will replay the whole song for if I miss it the first time) = "Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close? / And have you tell me whichever road I choose, you'll go?"
....Love Adele so much.

And a Meadowlark Sang

A few years ago we were given a poem up at Girl's Camp.

For one reason or another it really stuck with me, I even placed it in my journal so I wouldn't lose it.

It's entitled And a Meadowlark Sang accredited to Ravrinda Kumar Karnani

And a Meadowlark Sang

The child whispered, "God, speak to me."

And a meadowlark sang.

But the child did not listen

So the child yelled, "God, speak to me!"

And the thunder rolled across the sky.

But the child did not notice.

The child looked around and said,

"God let me see you" and a star shone brightly

But the child did not notice.

And the child shouted,

"God show me a miracle!"

And a life was born but the child did not know.

So the child cried out in despair,

"Touch me God, and let me know that you are here!"

Whereupon God reached down

And touched the child.

But the child brushed the butterfly away

And walked away unknowingly.

This got me thinking........how often are we like this child?

How often do we beg the Lord for a sign of His involvement in our lives and ignore the obvious signs that He is there?

How often have I done this same thing?

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To

Alright so I won't be crying on my birthday (which is tomorrow!) but it's such a classic song!
Break out the walker, though, 'cause I will be 19 years old!!! Aaah I feel so old, I know I'm not but still it's my last year of being a teenager...now that's a scary thought. Although I'm sure my parents are doing a happy dance of sorts (just kidding...I hope).
Much like the new year, my birthday always makes me reflect on the past year and I usually comprise a list of things I did in the year that I felt were important or new or changed me in some way and here it is!

In the Past Year I Have.... 

1.  Learned how to fence, and have wielded a dagger and a sword at the SAME time.
2. Saw the Broadway Musical The Lion King for the first time...it was INCREDIBLE!
3. Learned who my true friends are.
4. GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL!
5. Missed my grandpa. <3 you Grandpa Renstrom "Go out there and give them heaven!"
6. Become a University of Utah Ute (I know I am as shocked about it as you are)
7. Left my home ward and started to attend a Singles Ward, and basically I am loving every second of it!! Really though...no joke. Props to Lexi for making me go in the first place!
8. Fallen in love..................
   with the show Supernatural
9. Started college with some of my best friends in the entire universe!
10. Seriously missed, and still miss, all of my friends that went away to school
11. Started a blog, even though I said I never would...things change :-p
12. Become a classic movie buff
13. Watched a lot of the boys I grew up with go on missions (Seriously though, when did we all get this old?!?!?!) knowing they are and will be fantastic elders!
14. Been pushed totally and completely out of my comforst zone on many occasions
15. Discovered new genres of music and new artists that I am now OBSESSED with!
16. Got a new phone <3
17. Made new, awesome friends
18. Figured out that not every professor you have in college is incredible at their job
19. Also figured out that many of my professors are truly brilliant people
20. Joined the MUSS for next year...I know right?
21. Learned what "I'll sleep when it's done" truly means
22. Found new role models in people around me
23. Gained a new respect for people who are nice even when they don't have to be
24. Voted for the first time
25. Been placed on the Dean's List
26. Realized college is only hard if you don't schedule your time well
27. Found out that getting A's on your papers for college classes feels way cooler than A's on high school papers
28. Figured out that Spanish may or may not be the sexiest language...depends on who is speaking it
29. Baked banana bread all by myself
30. Improved my journal writing habits.
     

 And as much as all of these things have changed me a few things have definitely stayed the same:

1. Breakfast at Tiffany's and Rent are still my favorite movies
2. I still drink Diet Coke like it is going out of style
3. My iPod is still dominated by showtunes
4. I act like a complete dork with my friends
5. I endulge in my guilty pleasures of America's Next Top Model, Law and Order: SVU, Intervention and Castle at least once weekly.

Really though, I cannot believe that I am 19 in a few hours...it's such a surreal thought to me. Sometimes I feel like Peter Pan, in that I don't want to grow up but then the majority of the time I am seriously enjoying the perks of adulthood. Here's to growing up!

Breakfast at Tiffany's

AUDREY HEPBURN

 I feel as if I need to dedicate an entire post to Breakfast at Tiffany's...it is, after all, my most favorite movie in the entire universe.

I've loved this movie ever since I saw it many moons ago (really though I don't remember when I first saw it). I immediately fell in love with Holly Golightly and her crazy life. I not so secretly want to be her (and/or Audrey Hepburn).

Also I totally fell in love with Paul Varjak (V-A-R-J-A-K....those of you who have seen the movie will know why that was funny, for the rest of you I guess you should watch it). There was just something about the "sponsored" writer that I was drawn to.

(Isn't he handsome??)

Holly Golightly and Paul Varjak are at the very top of my favorite movie couples list. I cheer for them everytime I watch the movie. My heart breaks for him when he feels that she's slipping away from him and I get frustrated with her for not realizing how awesome he is and I get frustrated with him for seemingly letting her go so easily. Basically I love this movie couple.

So really all you blogstalkers out there (all three of you) should go and watch this movie....it's the greatest movie ever...in my humble opinion.

It for sure has one of my most favorite endings for a movie ever....yep I don't feel like spoiling it for those unfortunate souls who have not seen it yet, but be aware that the ending will cause you to walk away with a warm fuzzy feeling inside haha. It is not an ending for haters of love out there that is for sure.

Wish I was her....

Love this scene {and no what you think is happening in this scene is not happening...get your minds out of the gutter ;) }

  Paul: You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. [takes out the ring and throws it in Holly's lap] Here. I've been carrying this thing around for months. I don't want it anymore.

 {sometimes a girl just needs a guy to talk toughly and truthfully to them for them to realize that they are madly in love with them....hey it works for Holly and Paul...}

Favorite scene and favorite quote...all in one!

   Paul Varjak: Holly, I'm in love with you.
Holly Golightly: So what?
Paul: So what? So plenty! I love you. You belong to me.
Holly: No. People don't belong to people.
Paul: Of course they do.
Holly: I'm not going to let anyone put me in a cage.
Paul: I don't want to put you in a cage. I want to love you.

Can you see why I am absolutely, positively in love with this movie?? It's true that I have not yet had a day bad enough that watching Breakfast at Tiffany's hasn't made it all better.

Burns, Banana Bread and Birthdays

It's finally warm enough for a sunburn!!

Which I got my first sunburn yesterday....and I loved it...still love it...

I know I'm weird....but it's exciting...because that means that maybe, just maybe winter is ending and summer will soon be here.

Seriously though it felt awesome to just sit in the sun and fall asleep. I totally recommend it, get your iPod, play a summer-ey playlist and just doze for at least 15 minutes...it'll change your life...really though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another note I decided to try and make banana bread...for the first time...all by myself.

It's a recipe that is over 100 years old..yeah I was a little nervous to screw up...

Luckily though it turned out delicious (with the slight modification of chocolate chips instead of nuts) and I am pretty proud of myself that it turned out so well...I really was nervous...didn't help that my mom was making fun of me, calling me a 1950's housewife for being so domestic..but I don't see her complaining now that she gets to eat the finished product :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Officially my birthday is in 12 DAYS!!! I am 19 years old in 12 DAYS!!!! So excited!
MARCH 23

 mark it on your calendars it's a seriously important day...really....like I heard President Obama may make it into a national holiday or something...but as far as I am concerned it's been a national holiday for 18 almost 19 years now...I'm kidding of course.....well about the Obama part ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My thoughts and prayers go out to those in Japan and all affected by this earthquake/tsunami.

50 Secrets...Shhhhhh

I’ll admit it..I stole this idea from a friend of a friend :p but I saw theirs and really wanted to do one of my own so I did and here it is.

1.       I believe in magic

2.       Sometimes I pretend that my curling iron is a lightsaber

3.       I wish I was Audrey Hepburn

4.       Rent changed my life. – Thank you Jonathon Larson

5.       I geek out over Broadway musicals

6.       Clowns are probably the scariest things on the planet

7.       The thought of being completely alone really scares me

8.       Diet Coke really is the nectar of the gods as far as I am concerned

9.       I love to dance in the rain

10.   I’m addicted to my phone

11.   I have a slight obsession with quotes

12.   I sometimes get jealous when I see the guy I like talking to another girl, even when I have absolutely no claim to him whatsoever

13.   I actually really love weddings

14.   I believe in guardian angels

15.   Diamonds really are a girl’s best friend

16.   I’m in love with quotes from One Tree Hill

17.   Breakfast at Tiffany’s is my absolute favorite movie

18.   Sometimes I wish Hogwarts was real

19.   I can’t wait for my Prince Charming to come along

20.   There are times where friendship is thicker than blood

21.   I read to get away from my life

22.   America’s Next Top Model is my guilty pleasure

23.   23 is my lucky number

24.   I miss being on stage

25.   Sweats are probably the greatest invention ever

26.   Sometimes my tongue is too sharp, and I say things without thinking them through first

27.   Greece is at the top of my list of places I really want to visit before I die

28.   I really do love The Great Gatsby

29.   I have a tiny obsession with shoes

30.   I think about my grandpa at least once every day

31.   When I was little I wanted to grow up to be my cousin

32.   I fall for the idea of a guy before I really get to know him

33.   Hugs are the best thing in the world

34.   I love listening to the soundtracks from movies

35.   I love ALL three of the Pirates movies

36.   I fall in love easily but falling out of love is the hardest thing for me to do

37.   I tend to be a bit of a cuddle slut

38.   In some situations I believe in love at first sight

39.   Ghost Adventures is my favorite show

40.   Sappy love songs really make me happy

41.   There is a relevant Shakespeare quote for every moment in life

42.   I seem to have a thing for returned missionaries that served in Spanish speaking missions

43.   I still love Peter Pan

44.   When I am seriously angry I bake or sing showtunes at the top of my lungs

45.   I believe in miracles

46.   I’m actually a really shy person when it comes right down to it

47.   My snuggie is one of my most favorite possessions

48.   I love to just sit and listen to the rain

49.   I love snow when it is falling but hate it when it’s just hanging around

50.   When I see him my heart skips a beat and my stomach does a flip flop

Mythological Mindset?

     On the very first day of class this semester my mythology professor, Randy, introduced to us what he calls the "Mythological Mindset." On that very first day I sat there and I thought to myself, 'Wow...this guy is...a total....wack job.' For me on that very first day of the semester I couldn't, or more accurately I wouldn't, wrap my head around this conept that Randy was laying out for us. But as I continued to think about it I realized that maybe this "mindset" wasn't just the ramblings of another professor. I began to see it as a legitimate paradigm through which to view the world
     Randy laid the mindset out to us as having 6 important aspects:

1. Nothing is ordinary
2. The most important aspects of life are just below the surface
3. Life is beautiful - because there is a struggle
4. Pain and troubles can be helpful
5. Death is a necessity
6. Every person is heroic by nature

As I thought each of these aspects through, the legitmacy of this mindset became clearer and clearer to me. Each point Randy made about the Mythological Mindset over the ensuing weeks hit closer and closer to my own beliefs. I may not refer to it the same way that Randy does but each aspect of the mindset is something I have come to know in my own life.
     Such as "Life is beautiful because of the struggle." Life hasn't been too much of a struggle for me, I mean I was raised in an LDS household with loving parents and great brothers and I've never had to worry about where my next meal was coming from or anything like that but I have had bad days where I feel like I am struggling against all odds. But when that struggle is lifted from you, you realize just how beautiful life can be. You cannot have the sweet without the bitter. There must always be a struggle in order for us to appreciate just how wonderful and beautiful this life really and truly is.
     "Every person is heroic by nature." Now this doesn't mean that everyone is running around with capes tied around their necks and their underwear on the outside of their pants (although some do...scary right?). Simply to me it means that everyone has the possibility of performing of heroic acts. These acts don't have to be intense like saving children from burning buildings, even though that is pretty heroic, but they tend to be more like being there for a friend when they are having a bad day, or talking to that elderly person you always see at the restaurant you frequent for lunch. Heroic acts don't always have to include physically saving people...sometimes a heroic acts is something simple like smiling at the loner kid. You never know how far a smile can take someone, one smile could, quite possibly, save someone....which I find to be pretty heroic.
     This mindset, even though at the beginning I found it to be a little silly sounding, seems to be shaping up to be one of the better paradigms to view this crazy world with. It may even be one of the best things I could learn to incorporate into my life as I step into my future. So here goes...life with the paradigm of the mythological mindset in place.