So I am almost done with my second year at the U and I was thinking about all the stuff I have learned...
and really some of it I didn't learn in class....
Well...let's be real, most of it I didn't learn in class.
And because I really like bullet point lists....I'm gonna throw some knowledge down in a bullet list.
Don't get too excited
and this is probably only part one...there is a lot more that I have learned that I have yet to throw down into words.
I'm basically awesome.
Gems I have learned in my two years as a Ute (Part I)
· Most days it is a beautiful day to skip class
When you’re studying tonight, remember how much
fun you could be having at a nearby frat house
·
Only going to class to see the hot guy that sits
in front of you, even if you don’t say anything to him
·
Girls get your running shoes laced up. Cleat
chasing season is right around the corner.
·
Remember: get an education because “swag” isn’t
going to pay your bills in 10 years
·
If the cops want to catch drunk drivers they
should chill in the Taco Bell’s drive thru anytime after midnight.
·
It’s not always the grades you make, but the
hands you shake
·
A university is just a group of buildings
gathered around a library
·
If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail
·
In college you can party, study or sleep, but
there is only time in a day for two of them
·
When reviewing your notes before an exam, the
most important will be illegible
·
If you are given an open-book exam, you will
forget your book
·
80% of the final exam will be based on the one
lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read
·
Every professor assumes that you have nothing
else to do except study for their course
·
Copy from one it’s plagiarism. Copy from many,
it’s research
·
We never really grow up, we just learn how to
act in public
·
Your mind plans to log into your online school
account; your fingers log into Twitter and Facebook
·
Girls: tripped in my heels last night 7 times.
Can’t find my phone. Hooked up, hope he was an athlete
·
Screw this, I’m leaving class 30 minutes early
to go eat
·
Not knowing your plans for the weekend until ten
minutes before
·
ATM = Another Twenty Missing
·
Finding out the class notes are all online =
“see you losers at finals”
·
No shave November leads to can’t get laid
December
·
Good decisions come from experience, and
experience comes from bad decisions
·
If there’s not a ring on your finger, you’re
single
·
There’s a special place in hell for people that
take up two parking spots during finals week
·
If you blow up a girl’s phone, Facebook or
Twitter and she doesn’t reply, get the hint bro
·
There is a special place in hell for people who
get ready for an 8 am class
·
If you’re not young and wild, you will never be
old and wise
·
90% of the stuff you worry about isn’t going to
happen. Except for that Calculus final, that’s definitely going to happen
·
“He has a girlfriend” Challenge accepted
·
Due tomorrow = Do Tomorrow
·
Wait…there’s a school part of college??
·
I’ve never been to hell but I imagine it is very
similar to an 8am class
·
Tim to begin cultivating a fake friendship with
the nerd sitting next to me if I have any hope of passing this class
·
To go to class, or not to go to class: that is
the question
·
C’s get degrees
·
If someone deleted google I would fail all of my
classes
·
It’s ok to make mistakes, just don’t date them
·
Dear Thin Mints and the little whore that sold
them to me: screw you for ruining my spring break body
·
That awkward moment when the kid next to you is
bragging how he got a 97 on his exam and doesn’t know it was out of 200
·
That awesome moment when your used books already
have all the important parts highlighted
·
So studying makes the tests easier? Good to know
·
“Hey did you study for the test?” “We have a
test?”
·
Changing the date on your papers so it doesn’t look
like you did it last minute
·
“this is not a paper you can write overnight
class.” Don’t underestimate me
·
“Sleep now study later” quickly turns into “screw
it, I’ll just fail”
Much love,
-L
